South Africa 38: And they all lived happily ever after...

Well, this is the last of them. It took a lot longer than I had thought it would to finish my wacky adventures in the Land of Biltong. Ah. Here we go!

This is the 'signal' of their Signal Hill. I think we should get them to build a replica of Cabot Tower here instead. And set up some goddamn picnic tables while you're at it, b'ys. Not that I'm complaining. I loved standing next to the big concrete thing while we ate our hummus and chips and drank beer.
No, wait, I actually did love that. So fun Cape Town.

We fucked about on Signal Hill until the sun went down, and I took a picture of the city. It looked like this.

The next day, Michael came and collected me from Lisa's apartment, and we went to get petrol for his bakkie. I was chuffed. It was lekker. Sorry, I'll stop. Anyway, this sign caught my eye. I don't know what it was really about. Sounded fun, though.


And the last thing I saw, other than the airport, was a township.

In any event, I loved South Africa.

Go to South Africa, buy me some biltong and droë wors and send it to:

Adam Hunt
35 Nan Men Rd.
Taichung, Taichung County
Taiwan
ROC 402

I loves me my biltong.

Now fuck off, I'm sick of looking at you. 

South Africa 37: Eerie.

Yeah, I just about pooped myself, too. We were driving into Cape Town in Michael's bakkie ("bucky", remember) when I saw that a prominent feature of the landscape was called Signal Hill. I just about plotzed. South Africa was so good. We had a nice picnic at Signal Hill and watched the sun set.

Now we have picture of people and geography. This is Lisa and Lion's Head. This is funny, because Lisa's grade one class when I was first working at Cornel was called.... the Lions. Go ahead and clap. I'm so awesome.

This is Michael and the Twelve Apostles. Which is funny, because the twelve apostles are characters in a book called "The Bible." None of those twelve apostles were named Michael.
BUT the name Michael itself is biblical. It first appears in the Book of Numbers "where Sethur the son of Michael is one of twelve spies sent into the Land of Canaan."
Bong.

And this is me. This one is the best one, because it's called Devil's Peak. An obvious reference to my heritage as the son of... Calvin Hunt.

Well, we're almost finished with my trip to sunny South Africa. Jeez, took me long enough, wha?

Love, Adam 

South Africa 36: Cape Town Stuff

I found out that the ubiquitous convenience store chain (which I loathed and avoided at all costs in Toronto, and currently hold in high reverence in Taiwan for, if nothing else, their sweet magnet promotions) was suffered to merge with something called 'Friendly' in South Africa. Hence the logo chain and spooky little "IGA" symbol.
IGA!
Sing with me: "Hometown proud, Newfoundland I-G-A..." You remember the song. [Then, about two years later, I heard the same jingle on one of the channels from the States, substituting "American" for "Newfoundland". Trickers! Stealers!]

This is a shot of Long Street in Cape Town. Michael and Lisa are big losers. I totally knew that there was a truck bearing down on me. I was just too cool to whine about it.

I was just kidding about Michael and Lisa being big losers. Well, not about Lisa. I was only kidding about Michael.
This is a statue of Michael's great-great-grandfather.
No shit. Andrew Murray was his name. Michael told me something about him. I forget. I don't think I was really paying attention. I may have been drunk. I think he was a politician or something. Hold on, I'll go check on Wikipedia.
Oh, he was a minister. And a missionary. Hey, I don't think my great-great-grandfather is on Wikipedia. So, Michael's not a loser after all.
Lisa's still a loser, though.

Yeah, this is pretty self-explanatory, I know. But I just couldn't resist.
It's a movie theatre.
Called Labia.
"Labia: Screens 1 & 2"
BAHAHAHAHA.
I died laughing. Michael and Lisa didn't get it at first.
But, I mean, come on. Seriously. How many italics have I got to use, here?

Well, we're nearly done with South Africa. Only two more posts, I think.
Then I can show you all the madness that is the Republic of China! YEE-HAW!

Enough is enough.

Okay.

I'm not a stupid person or anything.

That being said, I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Wait now, this is the Adam Hunt who, in the second year of his Honors degree one day decided that yes, he liked professional wrestling quite a bit, and that an excellent way to spend his free time would be to do a wrestling commentary show on CHMR."

True.

You're saying, "This is the Adam Hunt who owns all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, all five seasons of Angel, and the single aired season of Firefly on DVD. And likes them."

Yes, but...

"This is the Adam Hunt whose goddamn office is (oh so originally) filled to bursting with robots."

I...

"This Adam Hunt, who made up a storyline where he murdered his PS2, this raving chucklehead, this great steaming mass of idiocy, is seriously going to make an entry on his website trying to justify the 460 New Taiwan dollars he spent dragging his helpless girlfriend to see a 'film' titled, and about.... Snakes on a Plane."

Well. Jesus. When I put it like that...

Anyway.

I liked the fucking movie. I liked it just fine. It was called Snakes on a Plane. And it was about snakes on a plane. It wasn't art. It wasn't the feelgood hit of the summer. But it was some fun, I tell you what.

Now, I'm not a professional film cricket, so really my opinion only counts for fuckall nothing.

But seriously, go see the movie. Just go. Don't go, "Oh, but it looks so stupid..." Of course it looks stupid. It is stupid. Of course it's got ridiculous amounts of product placement. Of course it's predictable. (Go ahead, try to guess who gets killed first.) Of course the computer-animated snakes look shitty. It's called Snakes on a Plane, for fuck's sake.

Just go see the damn thing. Preferably with someone a little bit skittish. Having someone sitting next to you who jumps out of his or her skin everytime a snake goes BOO! is half the fun.

Just shut up and go see it.

I have to go level up my Valor Drive Form in Kingdom Hearts 2 now.

South Africa 35: More! Jackass! Penguins!!!

The hits just keep on comin'. Look at these guys. They are utter jackasses.

This is the broad view. South Africa is awfully nice-looking, don't you think?

"Please look under your vehicles for penguins." It would suck to run one over.


Check the detail from the lower-right. I'm getting this made into a shirt. Then I'll sell them on my website. Then I can finally retire.

Soon, kids! Soon, it's all over! 

South Africa 34: Jackass Penguins are FUCKING AWESOME

So, after we went and looked at the Rhodes Memorial, we all took a jolly jaunt out to see some penguins. But they were not just regular penguins, oh, no.

THESE were Jackass Penguins. Jackass Penguins kick ass.


First we had to revel in the signage. "Please take a bag for your Dog's poo. Poo bin along path."
A sign.
Erected by a government agency.
That says "Poo."
Twice.
Did I mention I love South Africa?


Here is the aforementioned Poo Bin, labeled clearly.


Jackas Penguin! YES! They dig little holes for their eggs. They're awesome. I love Jackass Penguins.


The Jackass Penguin says, "NO! YOU MAY NOT HAVE MY COOKIES!" I think Jackass Penguins are the best. Well, second best.