Okay, I'm here.

I'm not sure who's home, or who's too busy to do anything, so if you ever look at this bastion of literacy on teh internets, and if you're on the same island as I am, then send me an e-mail, and we'll talk and hang out and laugh at this sentence, which steadfastly refuses to end, despite being, I believe, grammatically-correct and having consumed most of the commas that I've used this year.

Phew. *pretends to be out of breath*

So, yeah. If I don't call you, it doesn't mean that I don't like you or want to talk to you. It secretly means that I left my little book with all my phone numbers in it back in Taiwan. Because I'm an idiot.

There's snow here, but not much of it. They're calling for a green Christmas. That's annoying.

Oh, and Katie gave me my Christmas present early. It's a Nintendo DS. I am love it. Love. It.

Damn it, I'm home! I'm too busy to be frigging around with my website!

Love, Adam

Okay, I love the world again.

SO, do you remember those advent calendars from when you were kids? You know, the ones where you opened these little doors for each day of December leading up to Christmas? And there was a little chocolate bell or Christmas tree or Santa Claus head or whatever inside?

No? You poor buggers. Anyway, I love those goddamn things.

Ahem. Now, we all know that Nintendo loves us, so they've decided to give us a little online advent calendar at this website.

Only instead of chocolate, you get videogames.

Not PS2 games or anything. It's just a little 2D platformer, but it's some fun. You control Chubby Snow, a cute little snow-dude who jumps around on jelly-bean-lookin' enemies and collects snowflakes.

Go. Go now.

Oh, also, anyone who knows me well knows that I've got a thing for Cthulhu [pronounce it kuh-TOO-loo or kuh-THOO-loo]. Something about a Great Old One rising from the depths stirs affects my apocalypse gland, releasing the hormone apocalyptin into my hormone-hungry bloodstream. Zombies and killer robots from the future do it, too.

So anyway, I got all excited when they came out with Cthulhu plushies, and I loves me some Hello Cthulhu, so you can imagine the frantic glee with which I received the news that the "thing [which] cannot be described" has heard and answered my prayers by causing a human to design and market some action figures under the brilliant and evocative name of My Little Cthulhu.

Adam want. Adam want mind-shattering lord of darkness.

Look! -------->

Witness the pathetic mortals being driven insane by the mere presence of the Great Old One! Yay! Madness and darkness neverending!

Oh, and speaking of madness and darkness neverending, this Verizon customer service call, wherein an exapserated American customer tries to convey the idea that $0.002 is not the same as $0.00002, is twenty minutes of agony or boundless humor depending on your attitude. Set aside a fortminute and listen to the people at Verizon deny some fundamental mathematical truths.

That's all. I'll be home on the 21st.

Love, Adam

Oh, never mind.

The world is a terrible place, filled with reprobate wretches.

The mindset of a person who would actually consider trading their one week old baby for A FUCKING PS3 is one that I don't even want to consider being real.

ARGH.

Anyway.

Here's something funny in honor of my impending trip home for Christmas:

That would be the deviously evil supervillain trio of Dr. Monocle, Captain Drunknviolent and Hatface.

Love, Adam

Have I told you guys lately...

That I love the world?

Seriously. I was watching an episode of Button Mashing on Gamespot the other day, but I had to go before it ended, and when I came back, I found the best error message I've ever seen waiting for me on my computer's desktop.

Check it:

Awesome. Awesome.

Also, I was puttering around in teh Wikipedia, reading up on bazookas, and I learned that they're named after an obscure brasswind instrument. The article on the instrument ends with the affirmation that "the only professional bazooka player is Mr. Ormly Gumfudgin, age 80."

Jolly nice.

Onwards to Mr. Gumfudgin's website it is, then.

If you can watch this and not enjoy it, then I don't care how much Canadian Tire money you have or how many Hail Marys you say: you have no soul, and you are going to hell.

Love, Adam

Hurm.

Discuss.